Dealing with AF after feeling like this time could be it

Need for support as I haven’t actually told any of my friends and family that we have been TTC for 3 cycles and have no one to talk to. I know 3 cycles without success shouldn’t be a big deal but it still feels hopeless at times since we’re healthy. I have OCD and ADHD, so spiraling when dealing with something I can’t really control is hard for me. I’m used to planning and controling most things in my day to day life so of course I was already planning things ahead regarding the “perfect month” to give birth, revealing the news to the family during Christmas etc. I know it’s silly. :)

I really thought this time was different. Had cramping 6-10 DPO that usually doesn’t happen that early and the last couple of days (I was 13 DPO today but AF came) I was feeling absolutely normal — no PMS. I feel tired thinking I have to do this all over again next month because I thought I felt in my gut this month was it. Now I feel like I can’t even trust my intuition (I guess it’s my OCD spiraling mind talking). My husband takes it easier. He feels like, oh well, next time then. But since it’s my body that needs to deal with the spiraling each month it’s way harder to me.

Most of my friends got pregnant on their first try, even the one with endimetriosis and grim prognosis for ever getting pregnant. So I don’t think I can really get any support from them because they already have their children and it wasn’t a struggle.

How are you guys dealing with this emotionally month to month?